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December 25, 2019
The holiday season is amongst us, and being around family can be the greatest joy or the biggest pain (and sometimes both at the same time). Holidays can be very hard for us who have toxic immediate/extended family members. We also understand that many of us don't have the privilege of spending time with family or loved ones for many different reason. Either way, this time of the year can be very hard for some of us and HairWay is here to provide some helpful tips on staying healthy mental/physically for the upcoming year.
So if you are looking forward to granny's/abuelas mac'n'cheese/nacatamales, but not to uncle/Tio Joe's closed minded views on religion, sexual orientation or current social issues this is the thread for you!
Surviving the Holidays Guide 001: 5 Tips on Staying Healthy Around Unhealthy Family:
1. Don't take it personally. My grandmother would tell me all the time, "Hurt people, hurt people". I understood what this meant when I became an adult. Many times people are hurting and they project their hurt onto you. This doesn't mean you have done anything to make them feel a certain way or can do anything to change their perspective of you. They need to do the work within THEMSELVES.
2. Have Respect and Love at the forefront. Many of us choose not to celebrate Christmas due to many reasons (religion, social perspectives or any personal reason at all). This should be a moment where respect and love trumps all personal beliefs. Not a scream fest of who is rights. I have a co-worker who is Muslim and is traveling to visit her non muslim family. Her strategy is to come after Christmas gifts are opened, and enjoy the part of the day where her and her family simply spend time together. This was a great example of how there are compromises being made on both ends to come to the common goal of spending the time with each-other. (this is only an example).
3. You don't have to lie about it. Do you ever feel the pressure of having to hide certain things from your family. Like living in your truth is one of the hardest things to do. We're here to tell you, don't get caught up in hiding certain things about yourself or over exaggerate your accomplishments to fit in. This not only creates more of a distance between you and your loved ones, but ultimately hurts you for not living your truth and being your beautiful self!
4. Be Empathetic. We can't fix everything, but we can definitely show empathy for how someone may feel or what causes them to have certain behaviors. Family or not, showing empathy can help you understand how a person works. This can also help you understand how some of your actions may be a trigger, and how you and that person can work together through the feelings they feel that may be associated with past traumas.
5. Staying home may be the only option. The thought of staying home this year may riddle your mind with Guilt, but sometimes for people this is the only choice. Your health at the end of the day is the number one priority. Instead find ways of creating meaningful memories during these times. Many folks do humanitarian work in our communities, use these days as a self care day, or start new traditions with themselves or their chosen families. Either way, if you feel like you need to skip out on the annual family gathering to stay healthy, do it and don't feel guilty!
6. Reflect on the past year and show your gratitude for how far you've come. Don't be so hard on yourself, you've done great! Things may not work the way we want them to, but they are the way they should be in this moment. Having patience will show you that everything is temporary and shows up right when you NEED it. So, sit back and give yourself a big hug for thugging it out all 2019! 2020 isn't ready for you, bae 💕
We hope these tips help you, love!
Vesta & Nandi 💕Co-Founders of HairWay Beauty Co.
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